Help! I'm a Dandelion
by MrBowWow
Summary: After having a conversation with GoldenEnderHawk, we started talking about what if the Doctor turned into a Dandelion, and here the story is.


Clara's POV

I was sitting with the Doctor, having a normal day within the TARDIS. Everything felt great, I had the Doctor by my side, eating ice cream we got from an ice cream van that starting singing it's little tune approximately 5 minutes before. We were laughing away, talking about how Missy recently tried to destroy Gallifrey with over 1 billion litres of Lava from Darillium. She had obviously failed.

The Doctor had also recently told me about one of his previous acquaintances, River Song. He told me that when he first met her, he thought she was a crazy woman with a bad hair implant. But then he found out that she was much more. He says that he hasn't seen me for 24 years as he was having "some time" with her.

Out of nowhere, lightning struck inside the TARDIS. "Sexy, what is happening?" The Doctor screamed at the machine. All of a sudden, a woman wearing what looks like the Wicked Witch of the West's clothes from the Wizard of Oz, my all time favourite movie.

"You're the one they call, the Doctor?" The witch asked. The Doctor just nodded. "Well, somebody came to me several nights ago requesting that I either kill you, or turn you into an object of my choice."

"Wait, what?" I looked at the witch in confusion. What does she mean by an object of her choice.

"I mean, either he'll drop dead with that ice cream dropping on his red jacket, or I turn him into an object of my choice." She said with such a giddy tone. I looked at her in shock.

"You can't kill, me, I'll find a way back." Doctor said, in his smug voice. The witch shook her head.

"No, sorry, when this happens the affects will be permanent." She said. I just sat back down, my ice cream melting alongside my hands. I decided to lick it off, but then I noticed that the Doctor and the witch were staring at me licking my hands. I decided to just carry on eating.

"Well, what are you gonna do then?" The Doctor questioned. "What could you possibly do to me?"

"This," the Witch said. "Take this man with a heart of a Lion, and turn him into a Dandelion." All of a sudden the Doctor disappeared.

"What have you done to him?" I screamed at the Witch. She looked at me with a wide smile.

"Well, deary, didn't listen to the spell, I said Dandelion." She said, talking to me as if I needed help understanding, which I technically did need.

"Where is he then?" I asked, staring at her as if I was going to murder her. She looked unfazed by my stares.

"You don't scare me little girl." She said. "He's in the garden you landed on." I looked at her in disbelief. "I'll be off now." She waved her hands around her body, and then another lightning strike came down, I looked away. When I looked back, the witch was gone.

"Sexy, where's the Doctor exactly?" I looked over at the screen and the TARDIS gave me the exact coordinates. I left the TARDIS through the double doors and saw that we were in fact in somebody's back garden, on top of a flower patch. "Doctor?" I screamed. Hopefully no one was home.

I started to walk until I heard a voice. "Don't take another step." I looked around confused. I looked down and saw an entire flower bed of dandelions.

"Which one are you?" I asked the patch of Dandelions. I then saw one dandelion shake vigorously. I went to pick him up.

"No, don't." I whipped my hand back, confused.

"Why not?" I asked him.

"Before you came out, a little boy was playing with the dandelions, he picked one up and I heard screaming." I looked at him in shock. I was talking to a dandelion, I look up and hope that no one is watching me.

No one was, thank goodness. "Well what should I do then."

"Let me think," the Dandelion told me.

"I'm just gonna pick you up." I said. I heard the Doctor's faint complaints, but I took him off anyway. He didn't scream. "See not that bad."

"I guess not." I looked closer at the dandelion and saw that the Doctor's face was planted right at the top of the stem. I had to use my free hand to cover my mouth from laughing. "Don't laugh at me, this is serious."

"I am so sorry, but you have to admit that this is funnier than when the TARDIS was shrinking, no?" I looked at the Doctor, who had a very stern look in his face. I slowly stopped laughing. "What if I was to blow you?" The Doctor then looked at me in shock.

"Excuse me?" He said. I then thought about what I just said and realised what it sounded like.

"Ew," I started off disgusted. "Not like that, I mean, like kids do with Dandelions." He thought about it, before shaking himself vigorously again. "Is that a yes then."

"Yes, Clara." He said. I help him up to my mouth and blew it like it was a candle. And I just realised that that sounds even worse than the first time. I looked at him.

He was basically now just a stem with some seed heads left on. "Well, it was worth a shot I guess." All of a sudden the Dandelion grew in size with a white light emitting from it. It was so blinding, I had to shut my eyes.

I opened them up again to realise I was now holding onto a leg, I looked up, a there the Doctor stood. I let go of his leg and stood up, but then I saw him, and I burst out laughing. He looked at me in confusion.

"What?" He said. I looked through my handbag and got out a tiny mirror. I gave it to him and he raised it to his head. He looked at it in shock. "No." He had bald patches all over his head, obviously because I hadn't gotten rid of all the seed heads from when he was a dandelion. He looked at me with anger.

"Oh come on, it's just hair, it will grow back." I said to him.

"Not quickly, especially for a time lord, I had to wait a million years for my hair to grow to the length it was pre-dandelion." I looked at him in shock.

"It takes a time lord a million years to grow an inch of hair?" I asked, confused. He nodded. He then walked up to the TARDIS.

"Sexy, I'm going to go to sleep for a million years so that my hair can grow, after a million years has passed, take me back to this moment. The Doctor ran into the TARDIS and closed the doors. I tried clicking my fingers to open the door, but the TARDIS quickly dematerialised.

I looked in shock, but then as if no time had passed, the TARDIS was materialising right in front of me. The doors then flung open and the Doctor came out, with a full head of hair.

"Hello, stranger." He said. I looked at him.

"Well, that just happened." I said.

"What is it with humans and saying such painfully obvious things?" He asked me, motioning for me to come into the TARDIS with him.

"It's a coping mechanism." I responded. He closed the TARDIS doors.

"Well it's stupid." He said. I looked at him and smiles, and he did the same back to me. "Where to next?"

"Let's go and see what Cleopatra's up to." I suggested. The Doctor then pulled the lever on the console, and then came the feeling of being jolted across the room, which gave some sort of a happy feeling to me.

* * *

 **A/N: I am so sorry that you just read this story, it was a stupid idea, but I just had to do it.**


End file.
